Some times you get what you pay for. Few would argue that a top of the line BMW is a better car than a Yugo. Even if you buy it to flaunt your wealth at the riviera, a huge yacht is still more boat than an oar powered dingy. But Vodka?
In what must rank up there as the ultimate in conspicuous consumption, Scottish Blackwood Distillers are marketing a line of vodka under the Diva label for those among us with arguably more money than sense. Indeed, some might argue that it isn’t vodka at all (for one thing it’s wheat based, and not made from potatoes), but pure bottled sticker shock.
Diva is triple distilled and filtered through Nordic birch charcoal, then filtered through a dense column of gems including diamonds, rubies, emeralds and for a final polish before bottling.
No two bottles are alike, with a removable column of crystals which tumble out on removal of the top stopper but are safely in the bottle during pouring. The gems may be used as a drink garnish and decoration. The 48 crystals in each bottle, selected by a Hatton Garden specialist, include cubic zircona, Scottish smoky topaz, pink tourmaline, sky blue topaz, London blue topaz, amethyst, citrine and Peridot.
The crystals in each bottle are hand-prepared by people in the Shetland Isles, Scotland with each person filling the crystals has a favorite colour and puts this at the bottom of each column so each bottle is trackable to the individual.
The producer, Blackwoods Distillers also offers a bespoke service where you can choose the range of jewels to go in the column as a totally unique gift. Jewels chosen may be rubies, diamonds, emeralds, topaz and the rare alenandrite or similar. Prices are available on request with all gems selected by the highly experienced expert, Bill Stead, London’s jewel and diamond centre of Hatton Garden.
With prices ranging from £2,000 to £540,000, depending on your choice of jewels, this calls out for some fairly posh orange juice, perhaps made from oranges hand picked in Florida by illegal immigrants from Belgravia Square and the better parts of Monaco and strained through the lingerie of supermodels?
But really, in the end, what’s the point? For one thing, other than added flavours, a good vodka should ideally just contain two things, pure alcohol and water. Secondly, I might have been asleep in science class that day, but as far as I know, notwithstanding that both are made from carbon, diamonds, unlike active charcoal, has no purifying effects whatsoever, neither do they add much in the way of flavour.
But telling the guests at your party aboard your continent sized yacht how much money they just drained down their gullet, that’s priceless…